


A Tear from the Queen

by AKAQueenAnnie



Category: The Folk of the Air - Holly Black
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Angst, Bittersweet, F/M, Hate, Hurt and comfort, Love, Reunion, Tears, Vivi - Freeform, actually a lot of people make an appearance, grimsen - Freeform, it gets better i think, make an appearance, oak - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 02:43:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19803088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AKAQueenAnnie/pseuds/AKAQueenAnnie
Summary: Where Grimsen visits the High King and gives him a gift, along with his vow, in exchange for protection. Where Cardan accepts, mainly because the "gift" relates to his wife. Where the "gift" is a crystal globe that shows him all the events in Jude's life that elicit tears that Jude did and did not cry out.SPOILERS/Recap of both books.





	A Tear from the Queen

The High King of Elfhame sits on his throne, alone. 

Only a couple of his advisors from the High Court and a few of the king's personal guards are present. That and the princess of the Undersea, standing in the opposite corner from where the High Court talks to their king about new policies and orders for the new island and the looming threat and whispers of war, both from the Undersea and their former Great General. 

There were many drastic changes that can be seen in the throne room has since the morning Insear, Isle of Ash, was created. Courtiers did not lounge around the throne room any more than the sun was seen in their recent-- _and constant_ \--cloudy skies. There was no more chatter or small revels or the light and lazy atmosphere the king usually brought to their kingdom. Much like outside the palace walls, the inside felt dark and gloomy and plants withered and death hung heavy in the air. In the High King's personal opinion, the most stark difference was the absence of someone standing behind his throne, offering him advise. His seneschal's absence hung heavy in his heart. He had only himself to blame for the loss of her. His Jude. 

To everyone else, it was as if the crown disappeared, but that cannot be since the crown still sits on top of their king's head. So everything must only be from the stress, and the clouds only mean that their king was hard at work to keep his kingdom's continued safety. Surely there is nothing to worry about.

Grimsen, the magical smith, knows better.

He had hid the moment he got word that the Undersea took the seneschal. He hid even more the moment he found the General took half the army and disappeared. He almost hid, again, when he found out that the High King himself banished his seneschal. At that time, his wife, the Queen. Grimsen only knew this secret, of course, because of his craft that he will offer the king. He had a mind that since more people are searching for his talents, it might be safer for him to actually hide within walls instead of caves and makeshift huts. So he returned to the High King's palace to, once and for all, give his vow to the crown.

The guard beside him clears his throat and announces his presence to the few present in the room.

"Your Highness," Grimsen bows. "I've come to make a bargain."

"Have you?" The King replies, brows high. "You've been hard to reach, Grimsen. A lot are demanding for your services. Hiding from that must be horrible for business."

Grimsen smiles, "I'm flattered by all the attention, but it turns out I do prefer safety more."

"You realize, smith," one of his High Court advisors says, "that we will not allow you to leave our kingdom as your freedom is a threat."

"Yes, but I'd very much like to still have freedom within these walls instead of becoming a prisoner," the smith replies, then turns to the king. "Which is why I come here to offer my allegiance and vow to the crown and a gift, in exchange for protection within your walls and kingdom."

The king looks at him, cautious."A fair enough bargain. A gift, you say?"

Grimsen hear the reserve in his tone. "Think of it as an offering. Along with my vow in exchange for protection. I believe it would be of great interest of yours and the kingdom's."

"Is it, now?" the king says, disbelief clear. Grimsen walks closer, on the dais, right before the king. His guards comes closer, same as his court, to retaliate, but the king's hand is up to stop them before they get within hearing range. Good.

"In some ways, it came from your...," Grimsen pauses and thinks, then leans closer, almost whispering. "your wife."

The High King's face shows a quick betrayal of composure, his eyes flashing with alarm. Though it was only present for a quick second, and only shown to Grimsen in his proximity. 

"Out," the king addresses to the room. "Everyone, out."

His advisors and guards protest but still obeys. 

" _Excuse_ me?" the princess who was so quietly bored just a moment ago, says with annoyance. "Card-"

"Woman, leave." the king glares in her direction, voice strong and as heavy as their kingdom's current mood. Nicasia, the princess, displays an offended and hurt face before stomping off. Once the room is empty and the doors close, the kings turns his fury to the old smith and grabs his collar. "Speak."

"My king, the offer will explain it all," Grimsen chokes, taking out the globe so that the king can see.

The king looks at the crystal globe and sees Jude. A younger version of her, eating some stick-like substance. Before he can see more, he covers it and turns to Grimsen. "How do you have this?"

"The seneschal visited me before her abduction into the Undersea," he explains. "She was looking for a gift for her sister's wedding. The bargain was a single tear in exchange for some beautiful earrings that can make any person more beautiful to all who see."

At the mention of the earrings, Cardan vaguely remembers Taryn wearing them when she came and pretended to be Jude when he was recovering poison. Grimsen's story checks out, so far.

"That doesn't explain why you know of this secret, smith." Cardan growls, still not letting go the other's collar.

"The tear, her tear," the smith says, "I used it to create a globe. I've made many before, that encloses moments of one's life. I recall making one for you when you were younger, I believe. However, I admit I have not been immune to the dramatics of Elfhame and used her tear to create a crystal globe that not only shows a person moments of her life, but more specifically, moments that has caused her great pain and sorrow.

"You see, I have also heard whispers of this mortal girl who became seneschal and spy to the princes of Elfhame. One can say that I've been infatuated with her strength and story. When she came to me, it was too exciting to pass up. When the news of her banishment came, a new event showed; _your secret_. By then, I knew that if someone else had gotten their hands on this, it would create great disturbance to your kingdom. So I humbly come to you, my king. Pardon my intrusion to your wife's memories and this alarm. You must know that I did not expect such grave importance to come from this."

At the last part, Cardan isn't sure if he quite believe him. He lets go, though. He isn't sure what to say to that. he supposes he should be angry at the intrusion of someone's privacy but he does remember seeing similar globes in his father's rooms,-- _his_ rooms. All moments taken from him and his siblings past. It was a common and popular thing to collect and bargain from the smith. Nevertheless, now he knows that Grimsen must certainly stay here in his palace if he knew of what happened that night. If someone else knew, Elfhame would burst and Jude's safety would be in danger. _Jude_. How he missed her.

He looks at Grimsen. "And your vow to Elfhame, to me. And this, just in exchange for protection?"

"Shelter and food," Grimsen smiles, "Preferably nice ones, of course. And freedom to roam within your palace and kingdom."

"You will have a room in the palace and its services at your personal wish," Cardan says, and adds "and two of my personal guards for your protection to be by your side at all times."

Grimsen stares back and grins, "All the more safe, your majesty. I will be your humble servant."

The smith starts walking back and right before he gets to the door, the king calls out, "And your silence, Grimsen. I need it vowed."

The smith stops and looks back. "You have it, my king." He bows before he leaves the king, on his throne, alone once again.

\------

Cardan quickly went to his rooms and dismissed everyone for the day with much protest from the Court and people he doesn't care about. Now he sits on his father's bed,-- _his_ bed. He is the king. He needs to remember that. This is his bed to sleep and do as he wishes. And at that thought, his treacherous mind thinks of Jude. In this very bed. _Jude_. 

How he hated thinking of her. The girl who plagues his dreams and decisions and his thoughts every waking moments. And his dreams after that. The girl he married. The girl who killed his brother. The girl who burdened him into the throne. Into this responsibility. The girl who betrayed him. The girl _he_ betrayed. _Jude_.

He sits in this bed, now, that they had once slept in and exchanged kisses and murmurs and comfort. He sits and holds this globe that Grimsen gave him. He sits there for a long time until he cannot handle just sitting there and thinking of her, because he tried everything to stop thinking of her and they all failed. So, he uncovers this crystal globe so he can think of her more. It is not long until he regrets that decision.

Cardan sees her, again a young version eating, then going to open the door. Then, he sees a slightly younger Madoc. Then her parents. Then the slaughter. His breath catches. Almost everyone knows of the Duarte murder. It is a stain in the former general's reputation. His honor. Seeing it happen is different. He wants to look away but couldn't. Because this was Jude. She didn't look away. She _lived_ this. And moment after moment, he could not look away.

He sees so many things, injustices, done to her. 

He sees the moment her finger got bitten off when she was a young girl. He sees her looking at her sisters leaving her out of some conversation. He sees her training, and training, and training when she was still so young. He sees her at school, with him and Nicasia and Locke and Valerian. He sees how they treat her. Horribly and Disgustingly. He sees her study and study and train. He sees her want to become a knight. She doesn't become one. He sees them throw her in the lake. He sees he sister, Taryn and how quickly she left her. He sees them taunt her. Choke her with evermore. Humiliate her in front of everyone. 

He sees Dain. He sees her poison herself. _Every day_. He sees her not get enough sleep. He sees Valerian try to kill her. He sees Locke. He sees her in Hollow Hill. He sees her see him. With Balekin. He sees her sorrow. He sees her share her pain. Then, he sees Dain and sees her put a knife through her own hand. He sees her in Hollow Hill, again. He sees her save a mortal. Then, Vivienne. Then the other mortal girl look at her before she threw herself into the sea. Then, he sees Valerian try to kill her. Again. He sees her bury him. He sees Locke. With Taryn. He sees him, taunting her. Again. He sees Madoc kill Dain. He sees all his siblings die. He sees her with him. The Court of Shadows. He sees her hate. Her kiss. He sees her fight with Taryn. He sees her drink posion with Madoc. He sees her fight Madoc. Sees her win and her pain that came with it. He sees Oak. He sees her make him kneel. He sees him become king. He sees her guilt. He sees her pity. Her anger. He sees him taunt her. Again. Locke and Nicasia. Humiliating her. A seneschal. _His_ seneschal humiliated in front of all the Court in some stupid game. He sees her visit Balekin and a guard smacking her. He sees her not get enough sleep. He sees her in the Court of Shadows, working. In the throne room. In from of the High Court. Working. Ruling. Alone. 

He sees her forgive her sister. He sees Locke try to kill her. He sees her try to heal her wound. She's bleeding. Too much blood. Vivi tries to help. He sees her act like it's nothing. He sees her command him. He sees him and his anger and his hate. He sees him walk away. He sees her in the Tower of forgetting. He sees the Ghost betray her. He sees her in the Undersea. He sees Nicasia punch her. He sees them try to glamour her. He sees them put her in a cold room and feed her too little. He sees them abuse her. He sees Balekin force her to kiss him. Like she would kiss _him_. He sees this too much. He sees her see him above water. He sees her try to get to him. He sees the guard turn her away. He sees her look again. Alone. 

Then, Balekin. Then a kiss and an order to poison him. He sees her sleep in his old room. He sees her climb up the palace. In her diminishes state. He sees her with him. Then again, when he's poisoned. And she knew because she know what poison tastes like. He sees her know Liliver trust him more. Follows _him_. Then she sees her fight Balekin. Sees her win. Sees her go back to him. Then hear about betrayal of Madoc and Taryn. He sees her hear him say he _trusted_ her. 

He sees her with him again. Sees her, for the first time, trust someone. _Him_. He sees her eyes, that night he asked her to marry him. He sees...hope? And something else that he doesn't want to know. Could not bear to know. He sees her trust. And their kiss. Their vow. His betrayal of her trust the next morning. Sees her hurt. Her anger. Her pain. Then, she's alone. Again. Walking alone in the streets for a long time. Sees people call out to her. Sees her keep walking until eventually she gets to Vivienne. Sees her go inside. Sees her not hear what her sister says. He sees her broken. Alone. Gone. 

And he stops. Because all of it is too much. It was too much early on. So he stops and is mad. He never felt this much anger before. He's mad at Madoc for showing her this way of life. He's mad at Locke for tricking her and trying to kill her. At Valerian and knows he got what he deserve. At Nicasia for throwing her anger from him at her. At Balekin for ever touching her and making her kiss his pathetic face. At her sister for being selfish and pathetic for not caring. At Dain for making her put a knife through her hand. Through her _hand_. At Madoc's guard for scaring and _biting_ her finger off. He's mad at Gremsin for compiling all of these moments. He's mad that it seems like most of her whole _life_ is this. Sad. Full of pain. He's mad at her for not ever telling him. Or anyone, for that matter. He's mad at her for not even crying enough. Because he's crying, for fuck's sake. He's mad at everything, and everyone. And he's mad at himself. Hates himself. Oh, how he hated himself for ever being part of her pain. Her already mountain-piles of pain. How dare he be a part of it. How dare he not help. How dare he tell himself, _show her_ that he cares, when he's done all this unforgivable things to her. How dare he cry. Because he is. He's crying and he can't breathe and he's so mad and he throws this horrible cursed globe as hard as he can and hears it shatter. He hears it shatter and he can't help but think of how she shattered. _Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude **Jude**_. 

He's appalled that he even asks himself how anyone can ever do this to her. How could _he_ have done this to her. His darling Jude. _Jude_.

And he doesn't know what to do. How to act. How can he? How can anyone? How could anyone live with this? How can _she? Jude._ Strong. Clever. Alone. Gone. _Jude_.

 _Jude._ Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude. He sits there. For a while. In her pain. Her tears. And his own for knowing them. His own for knowing how cruel and wicked he is. He is a monster. Despicable. Disgusting. Low. And he doesn't know what to do. What to feel. How to _stop_ feeling. So, he sits there until his dried tears coat his face. Until his lungs seems to know how to catch a breath again. Until he can register that his eyes sting and can barely see. Until he notices his head hurting. Until he tries to tell himself that this is all worth it. Because she's safe. All of this is worth it, because she's safe, right? He asks himself. He asks himself if all this pain that she felt all her life, _up to now_. He remembers that she's still young and he starts hating and getting mad again because no one, _damn it_ , no one should have gone through what she's gone through. And he asks himself if all _that_ was worth it. Worth hurting the only person he cares about. He finds that he cannot answer.

Faeries can't lie.


End file.
